Johnny's aunt is hosting a wedding shower for me in March; she emailed me yesterday with a few questions, one of which was "Where are y'all registered?"
This isn't the first time I've been asked that question; in fact, I've been asked so many time that I finally created a small registry at Williams-Sonoma. It has about 5 things on it.
Before living together, Johnny and I were separate, functional individuals with complete sets of dishes, cookware, silverware, sheets, and towels. (True story, we have two identical Dutch ovens.) In the five years we've cohabitated, we have accumulated even more dishes, cookware, silverware, sheets, and towels. We have a food processor (we have two, in fact: a mini and a full size). We have a stand mixer. We have a blender. We have a slow cooker. We have a great cutting board and knife set.
The only things we could really use are an immersion blender and a cast iron skillet.
I understand that people want to wish us well by purchasing a gift. I think that's nice, and I appreciate their generosity; however, I do not want to register for things I don't need or want. I also don't want to end up with 8,000 picture frames (I've already received four as engagement gifts...one has a picture of the horse in it already) because no one knew what to get us.
What do I do, y'all?
20 comments:
Register for money for a honeymoon? We were in a similar situation, so we registered for upgrades. Nicer plates, linens and silverware mostly.
We registered for board games, DVDs, and towels, because I wanted fluffier towels, dang it! It worked pretty well. Other than that, if you want a newer thing, get a newer thing. If not, maybe people could donate to a cause you both endorse?
I created a honeymoon registry. We used Honeyfund. You can actually use it for non honeymoon things as well - people have used them for home buying - but we used it for honeymoon. People can gift you different parts of your trip. We did a cruise so we listed all of our excursions, tours, etc as well as flights, hotel nights, dinners, drinks, all sorts of stuff. People really just want to give you a THING as opposed to straight money. The honey fund lets them give you a thing - a tour, etc - but it comes in the form of money so it's win-win.
I think we're going to register for a couple of upgrades- we like our silverware and our plates, but both belonged to my grandmother and are now about 50-60 years old. I'm paranoid about what the dishwasher is doing to them haha!
Man, I have read 213054980239 different things on if it's cool to ask for donations to a cause or not. (We have discussed this at length, because we'd rather have people donate than buy us a THING.) The internet has very mixed feelings on it.
That's a good idea! We're also taking a cruise, so we'll have to look into Honeyfund!
I used Honeyfund as well and got money towards a honeymoon, it was awesome because we did a cruise to Alaska and a short stay in Portland so it wasn't cheap. I think you still need to put something on a regular list for the people who don't like the idea, but we got a lot of gifts that way.
We registered at the Bay and asked for gift cards if nothing was available. So we could buy a sweet Dyson vaccuum. :)
Create a money registry. My mother forced us into creating a registry, and we did not want it. Some of the stuff was useful, but the most meaningful gifts that have stuck with me were the ones that didn't come from the registry. I'd put in the invite something like "Thoughtful gifts are always appreciated, or you may help us afford our honeymoon." I dunno. Something like that.
We're doing a little of column A, a little of column B. We also have nearly everything we could need or want, so I'm asking for upgrades, expansions (extra towels & sheets for guests), and some house things - shovels, rakes, hoses, boring stuff but necessary, especially since we'll be buying a house this spring/summer.
I also used the So Kind registry to ask for things like gift certificates to our local movie theater, favorite restaurant, coop, and donations to our favorite causes like Arya and Tristan's rescues. I put the focus there on small, local, or nonprofit, and wrote a few sentences about why we love each store or cause.
We're not explicitly asking for money. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I think people are going to give you money regardless, and people who want to give you gifts would never write a check just because that's not the way they give at weddings. Having a registry forestalls the picture frame problem.
But yeah, I hear you. I have really, really struggled with it. We have maybe two dozen things total, so I have a lot more work to do still.
Glad to hear from another Honeyfund user!! Thanks for your input!
A Dyson vacuum WOULD be pretty great...
I made sure to put on our wedding website that we are well-equipped with the items necessary for setting up a household and that our guests presence at our wedding is the only gift we could ever want, etc. etc. (I'm hoping this will mean people will either give us nothing or give us money. Money we can use to do things like fix our garage door!)
I'll have to check out So Kind! We'd love to encourage people to donate to a charity in lieu of a gift, but I've heard it's tacky to ask guests to do so. My mother thinks this whole wedding is tacky, though, so maybe it doesn't matter?
My main reason for wanting to set up some kind of registry is DEFINITELY to forestall the picture frame problem. I think there are perhaps 2 printed pictures of Johnny and I together? We are just not hot on pictures of ourselves!
Most people gave us cash for the wedding, but people like to buy shower gifts. You know, so you can be tortured opening them in front of everyone ;) I suggest registering for some nice sheets and towels - you know, the ones you would never! buy yourself.
Heath and I also had everything before we were married but we put on our wedding registry stuff we would buy ourselves like Pyrex and a wok. But most everyone got us cool gifts anyways without over stocking us, like nighties, wine, we got alot of wine, cash, etc. But I really wish I had thought of the honey-fund. I had a friend use that and you could get online and pick what you bought, like dinner at a restaurant they wanted to go to. I thought it was really cool and its a great gift!
We registered because we did end up needing major upgrades. That said I LOVE the honeymoon funding idea. A friend bought us a gift card to an awesomely restaurant in Maui and we had a lovely dinner- a great memory :)
I think asking for donations to charity is waaaaaaaaaaaay classier than asking for money for yourself!
We did a honeymoon registry -- which was awesome!!
The internet has mixed feelings on everything. Maybe get something for the ponies?
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